It’s the second day of 2017, and I’m determined to not to make the same mistakes I made last year. The universe agrees. I was grabbing a marker from a coffee cup on my desk, when I read the quote on the cup:

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein

I laughed out loud. I don’t know about you, but I find myself going round and round, stuck in same thought process, creating the same problems.

Those singing monkeys!

For me, it’s the monkey chorus in my head. It’s constant. And there are only 2 things that keep it under control: exercise and hanging upside down (on my inversion table). Taming those monkeys requires me to harness my energy (via exercise) so I can surrender to my plan for the day.

Notice the word surrender? I didn’t choose it accidentally. Here’s the thing. I’m so averse to working a plan that I have to literally surrender to it. I have to say, “Ok, I’m just going to do what the plan says no matter what.” With no enthusiasm whatsoever.

Because I forget how great the plan works. I forget that when I don’t keep chasing after the next shiny object that comes up in my email, or Twitter, or LinkedIn, or Facebook, or in a business book, I get tons of stuff done – and still have time to chase the shiny objects!

Don’t deny your own wisdom!

But, worst of all, I forget that I wrote that plan myself. No one imposed it on me. Nobody is making me arrange my day a certain way. No one is saying, “Becky, you have to exercise first thing in the morning, then eat….” I am saying that. And, by ignoring that, I am denying my own experience and wisdom. And I keep doing it.

Why? I don’t know. If I did, I’d write a book, give a TED talk, and make a zillion dollars on a speaking tour. I don’t think it’s intentional sabotage. I think it’s resistance to change, to possibilities, to buckling down and giving myself everything I need to keep moving forward.

I’m even started reading a book about change this past summer, although – don’t laugh – I haven’t finished it – called Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey. It’s a great book and I haven’t read past chapter 2 because it’s so unsettling. Because what would I do if I got over my immunity (notice it’s not resistance; it’s immunity) to changing? What if I dug deep and understood why I reject changing – even when I know my life would be better? It’s not like I’m really scared of anything right now.

Immunity to change.

Right. Here’s how the authors put it:

You do not feel your fear. The reason you do not is because you’re dealing with it. Though you are not aware of it, you have created a very effective anxiety-management system, and that system is what we call the immunity to change. – Kegan and Lahey

And I quit reading 2 pages later. It felt that scary and threatening.

Since I want to use new thinking to solve my problems, here’s my plan. Force myself to read the rest of Immunity to Change. Feel the fear. Surrender to my own wisdom that’s manifested in my daily plan. And keep on going.

What’s on your horizon?

There are exciting, wonderful things on my horizon: new clients, a technology conservatory I’ve created to help women cross the bridge from fear of tech careers to having access to tech careers, my birthday, and who knows what else! I’m going to do my best to fight my immunity to change and expose those fears to the light of day.

Watch me. Join me. Let’s go.

Live life ferociously,