I remember an afternoon in Athens when I was meeting with a professor (he was gay, this isn’t about sex) – a favorite one – we were talking about a decision I’d made. Of course, 50 years later, I can’t remember which decision we were talking about. He looked and me and said, “Are there any bridges you won’t burn down?” And, 18-year-old me, in her infinite wisdom, answered, “No.”
He was talking about my slash and burn approach to leaving things behind. I internalized that question as I was doing something wrong.
Boundaries
Now, today, 67-year-old Becky realizes she was setting boundaries in a time when girls and women were not allowed, and even punished, for having boundaries, for having opinions, for stating those opinions and lashing out when they refused to conform. I believe you know me well enough to recognize that I breathe rebellion against conformity.
These realizations crystallized this morning as I was doing a couple of meditations. The last one was on our Lilith energy – the power we hold at the margins.
During the meditation, I held a picture of teenage Becky in her messy, outrageous, loud glory. In her floundering around state of figuring out who she was and how to live out her power and I called her back into my body and my conscious energy and wrote this in my journal:
Burning bridges = boundaries. Self-protection.
I bring back into my body my biggest, most outrageous, most radical, and purest self – teenage Becky. Together we exercise our power to change and lift up the world.
I embrace the Becky who didn’t know how to navigate choices and new environments, and did it anyway, on her terms.
I honor the Becky who fought against being shoved into a mold.
I embrace, literally and metaphorically, the Becky who didn’t know how to find the support and resources she needed to flourish and celebrated when they found her.
I call back all the parts of me that I have held outside my physical boundaries and welcome them home.
I am powerful.
I am wisdom.
I will not be stopped.
I am ready to sew myself a mantle of leadership that nurtures, nourishes, and empowers the people who surround me.
I am present for the people who seek out my voice.
I was born for this exact moment in time.
I will not stop.
I am relentless.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am honored.
Take good care, and
Never Settle,
Becky