From the end of December 2019.
This week we have a new moon, an eclipse, and a new decade. It’s the perfect time to focus on embracing the light. Sounds great doesn’t it? It’s also hard.
Here’s what I’ve learned through excruciating experience. I rarely recognize the light when I’m in its presence. I’m so wrapped up in my agenda and my expectations, I miss that it’s there. When I move through trying times, it can take me a minute to feel its presence. When I’m scared that I can’t make my life work (expectation alert!), when someone needs help and I don’t know what to do, when I’m taking (another) huge risk, when I’m ready to give up, it’s like I have blinders on – the light can’t get in.
False comfort
The problem is that wrapping ourselves up in our brains, bodies, and even our blankets feels so comfortable. It feels like just what we need. It feels safe. And it’s an illusion. We’re so wrapped up in our own being that we feel tight. There’s no room for the light to shine through us.
Here’s the thing. The light IS with us. It’s there to illuminate our way forward. Sometimes, if we really try hard, we see a glimmer that reminds us that whatever we’re going through, there is light on the other side – even if the other side is something we never ever wanted, not ever.
In those moments, we must trust the light. We must surrender to the light so we honor its presence.
I’ve come to understand that the only time I’m truly safe is when I rest in the arms of the universe. Where I do my bit and embrace that there are forces out there ready to hold me tightly as I move (reluctantly) through whatever is on the horizon.
Expand
Here’s why it works. When we honor the light, we expand.
Expanding is hard, even painful. In the moment it can even feel like our lives are getting smaller because we’re giving up control.
Instead, when we surrender the idea of absolute control and embrace the light, we testify that we know we’re not in charge. That we understand that the universe/ God/ god has our backs. We’re leaving behind the mistaken and tragic idea that if we do everything just so, everything will be all right.
You’ve built your own light
This is the secret to my success. I have developed an unshakeable faith in the universe. I recognize that my universe consists of everyone I know, everyone who supports me, everyone who thinks kind thoughts about me, and even those who’ve gone before me. The universe is the voices in my head – the books I’ve read, therapists, friends, acquaintances, mentors and teachers, and my late husband.
They are the light. They are here to show me the way forward – to give me courage when I’m just too scared to even think about the future.
Your universe – the one you built yourself – is there for you, too. When you stop obsessing over what you think is right and recognize that surrendering your expectations allows you to get out of your own way, the light will fill the space left by releasing your expectations.
When we embrace the light and allow it to guide us forward, we find hope.
Walk with the light.